I SAW THE WRITING ON THE WALL
I sit here today wondering why I am so sad. I have a husband and a family but yet I feel like I am all alone. You see my husband has been cheating on me and he thinks that he has hidden it well enough that I couldn't possible know. There comes a time in everyone's life where they will face that day, when they find out that their mate has not been faithful. The silent calls, the whispers, the emails, the late night house calls, the change in dress, the frivolous spending, all signs that I tried my hardest to ignore. Some say that he didn't have a physical connection, well the bible says that, " if a man should lust after another woman then he has already committed adultery" it's just a matter of opportunity.
Understanding why men cheat is something many scholars before me have tried hardest to explain. Maybe he cheats because you are not doing your wifely duties, Maybe he cheats because you are not looking the same any more. Maybe he cheats because you simple don't work for him any more. The trust of the matter is, do they have to cheat? Why can't a man just simply love a woman as God intended for him to without wondering what could be on the other side. She don't look the same anymore because she carried the baby for nine months. So what, she has some stretched marks or some weight. It is a constant reminder of her commitment to suffer for someone else, to bring the most precious gift into the world instead of aborting it at the very sign of positive on a stick. So what she is tired at nights and may not be in the mood all the time, how about rubbing her feet, cooking her a meal instead of always waiting for her to beacon at your every call. So what she doesn't look the same anymore. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn't that saying true?
See, I was that girl who did her best to please her man and no matter what they constantly left to be with the grass on the other side of the field. Eight years ago, my then boyfriend, left me and married another woman, now shy of another eight years my husband has decided I don't work for him anymore.
I saw the writing on the wall, but was too prideful to admit that I could be here again. lost and alone to face the world on my own.
See, I committed to my marriage, even though in my past at this point if I felt you weren't feeling me then I would just bounce. See, I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe that God puts two together and that no man or woman should put asunder. Isn't that what you preach in your sermons Pastor? You say that the bible tells a man and a woman to leave father and mother and cling to each other, so where has that gone if you are clinging to another. The bible says to submit to his authority, and treat her like Christ treated and loved the church, well where is the church?
You were placed in a position to lead, but no one is truly following. Do you ask yourself where everyone has gone? When will you open your eyes to see that you are not leading the way he wants you to lead, but because of pride and anger you run your wife straight into the wall. I have been here before. lied to, tossed about, rejected and alone. I too have faced disappointments. I see the writing on the wall and tell myself that's not what I see, because you see, I want so much to believe that God placed you with me for eternity.
See, the woman/women you now chase, will be another victim to your senseless hate. Pride goeth before destruction, well I am already destroyed, too broken to be healed by, " I Still Love you" when you turn around and spread hurtful lies about me to another because you want to justify this cycle of, " they didn't do right by.... they were .... they constantly..... See after a while, people open their eyes and they see things for what they truly are. a system of manipulation that has been taught for years to control every emotion, every reaction and every presentation of what they truth really is.
I saw the writing on the wall, when you wouldn't even let her know that you were even married. I can't be kept a secret holding a public position, and she won't stay hidden wanting a public position. The end does not justify the means. See one day I believe I will heal from this cycle of abuse. This will be a scare that will remind me that people can be cruel, but also that people can be true. True to their word, that I love you till death do us part means I will love you till Jesus comes. I will respect you and honor you and provide for you. I will protect you and not harm you. I will forgive you and seek your forgiveness for I too want forgiveness from my father. I will submit to you as I submit to the father. I will leave my mother and fathers home and cling to the one that is to be my forever mate.
The writing was on the wall for us, from the very beginning. people doubted, but we fought every obstacle to prove that we were going to make it and that we would silence the whispers that they weren't meant to be. Well, here we are, at that wall. The one that was built for us, by our foes and enemies. In my healing, I was told to write this as a release to express the things that I couldn't say to you because you always wanted to control every conversation. So I release you from the burden of feeling trapped and unhappy with the woman you vowed to love and honor. My therapist says that releasing toxic people from your life, brings peace, well that's what I want peace and freedom to be happy.
The writing is on the wall that we could have tried but pride got in the way and we decided to let it lead the way.
Life is about choices, and sometimes the hardest one is to walk away.........
~DayzAfter
Understanding why men cheat is something many scholars before me have tried hardest to explain. Maybe he cheats because you are not doing your wifely duties, Maybe he cheats because you are not looking the same any more. Maybe he cheats because you simple don't work for him any more. The trust of the matter is, do they have to cheat? Why can't a man just simply love a woman as God intended for him to without wondering what could be on the other side. She don't look the same anymore because she carried the baby for nine months. So what, she has some stretched marks or some weight. It is a constant reminder of her commitment to suffer for someone else, to bring the most precious gift into the world instead of aborting it at the very sign of positive on a stick. So what she is tired at nights and may not be in the mood all the time, how about rubbing her feet, cooking her a meal instead of always waiting for her to beacon at your every call. So what she doesn't look the same anymore. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn't that saying true?
See, I was that girl who did her best to please her man and no matter what they constantly left to be with the grass on the other side of the field. Eight years ago, my then boyfriend, left me and married another woman, now shy of another eight years my husband has decided I don't work for him anymore.
I saw the writing on the wall, but was too prideful to admit that I could be here again. lost and alone to face the world on my own.
See, I committed to my marriage, even though in my past at this point if I felt you weren't feeling me then I would just bounce. See, I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe that God puts two together and that no man or woman should put asunder. Isn't that what you preach in your sermons Pastor? You say that the bible tells a man and a woman to leave father and mother and cling to each other, so where has that gone if you are clinging to another. The bible says to submit to his authority, and treat her like Christ treated and loved the church, well where is the church?
You were placed in a position to lead, but no one is truly following. Do you ask yourself where everyone has gone? When will you open your eyes to see that you are not leading the way he wants you to lead, but because of pride and anger you run your wife straight into the wall. I have been here before. lied to, tossed about, rejected and alone. I too have faced disappointments. I see the writing on the wall and tell myself that's not what I see, because you see, I want so much to believe that God placed you with me for eternity.
See, the woman/women you now chase, will be another victim to your senseless hate. Pride goeth before destruction, well I am already destroyed, too broken to be healed by, " I Still Love you" when you turn around and spread hurtful lies about me to another because you want to justify this cycle of, " they didn't do right by.... they were .... they constantly..... See after a while, people open their eyes and they see things for what they truly are. a system of manipulation that has been taught for years to control every emotion, every reaction and every presentation of what they truth really is.
I saw the writing on the wall, when you wouldn't even let her know that you were even married. I can't be kept a secret holding a public position, and she won't stay hidden wanting a public position. The end does not justify the means. See one day I believe I will heal from this cycle of abuse. This will be a scare that will remind me that people can be cruel, but also that people can be true. True to their word, that I love you till death do us part means I will love you till Jesus comes. I will respect you and honor you and provide for you. I will protect you and not harm you. I will forgive you and seek your forgiveness for I too want forgiveness from my father. I will submit to you as I submit to the father. I will leave my mother and fathers home and cling to the one that is to be my forever mate.
The writing was on the wall for us, from the very beginning. people doubted, but we fought every obstacle to prove that we were going to make it and that we would silence the whispers that they weren't meant to be. Well, here we are, at that wall. The one that was built for us, by our foes and enemies. In my healing, I was told to write this as a release to express the things that I couldn't say to you because you always wanted to control every conversation. So I release you from the burden of feeling trapped and unhappy with the woman you vowed to love and honor. My therapist says that releasing toxic people from your life, brings peace, well that's what I want peace and freedom to be happy.
The writing is on the wall that we could have tried but pride got in the way and we decided to let it lead the way.
Life is about choices, and sometimes the hardest one is to walk away.........
~DayzAfter
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