CHILDREN IN THE MIDDLE: The Ugly fight of Divorce and Separation



Tips for parents facing Divorce and Separation
This week I had to deal with the reality that people don't fight fair when they are hurting.  They will do everything to hurt you because they themselves are hurting and can't handle the emotions that are overwhelming and overbearing for them.  The question today is, if it's that overbearing and overwhelming for YOU, why would you transfer that to your CHILDREN?

 Things that you can do to prevent children from being in the middle when going through a Divorce or Separation

 1. Fight fair.

  •  Don't change the normal routine on purpose out of spite. Children can't handle too many changes at one time, especially if they are very young.

2. Stop making them feel that they need to choose: 

  • Don't try to outshine the other parent by seeing who can buy the best or most things.  In those critical times treats and tricks is not want brings peace, time and genuine and an ability to be empathetic is what brings healing to a troubled soul.

3. Don't talk negatively about the other parent in the presence of your children:

  •  If you refrain from talking negatively about your mate, then you won't have to worry about being careful when your children are in the room.  

4.  Spend time with your children:

  • not out of guilt because you haven't done anything all year and now you are going through divorce or separation you don't want them to hate you, so you become overbearing with gifts and kisses.  Children are very smart, they will see through your schemes. 
5. Principles don't change:
  •  you and your mate have rules for your children.  The word says train up a child in the way he or she should go, so that when they are old they will not depart from it.  When the family is hurting because of divorce and/ or separation is not time to throw principle to the wind.  That's a way of trying to get children to take sides.  


 Prayer for you today

 Heavenly father I pray for my brothers and sisters that are at that crucial point in their marriage. Your word teaches us that you do not like divorce, but you have also stated, it's best for a man to sit on a roof top than to be with a contentious women, and that the husband should love his wife like you loved the church and gave your life for it.  For those reading these words, I pray you bring comfort to them. Protect the children lord and bring restoration and healing in situations that seem impossible for we know that you are a God of many possibilities. Nothing is impossible for you.  TRUST AND BELIEVE


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